And thats all she wrote.

Hello all,

            This is my last blog post. A year has come and gone and it is time for me to be on my way. There have been points throughout this year where I never thought this year would end, but now that I’m 4 days away from leaving, I am wondering where my year has gone.

            I want to start off by thanking everyone who has kept up with my blog. I know it isn’t the best reading in the world. There are always typos, grammatical errors and it is hardly ever riveting. But thank you for taking time out of your busy day to see how life on my side of the world is going. To remember and pray for me. For those who have read every single post, you should get a prize!! Just tell me and I will think up something J

            As you would expect, with only four days left, I am becoming very emotional. One minute I’m laughing with my kiddos then the next, I’m about to cry. My daily struggle is to hide. But by the Lord’s grace, I’m not hiding, well too much anyway.

            When I think and reflect back on this year, all the events, holidays and festivities come to mind first. All the fun, excitement, sometimes mayhem of life with the Rosmarinos. Then all the people back in California and here who have walked this journey with me. Shared in my laughs, funny stories, tears, and difficult times. Then finally, all the lessons learned and the work that my Lord has done in me.

            The fun times remembered!

~My 22^nd Birthday – I lost it when 170+ people sang me happy birthday. Astonished at how excited all the kids were to celebrate my birthday. One girl told me she wanted me to have a great birthday so I could tell everyone at home I had the best birthday ever!

~Thanksgiving - All 170+ of us said 1 thing we were thankful for which took less time than the Vinck circle of death (circle of thanksgiving).

~Christmas - exploring Bacolod while manita (secret santa) shopping. Wrapping the kids gifts till 3am. Passing the gifts out to each kid (2 hours). Then listening to the most gleeful, excited, overjoyed sounds as they opened their gifts altogether. I asked one of the girls later, if she had a great Christmas and liked her gift. She told me it was great! She had never celebrated Christmas before. She was 16.

~Gramma’s 90^th/New Year’s Eve - Had fun making a big deal of both. Firewords and decorations.

~ My family (CCBF team)- My family was able to come for 2 weeks in January. That was amazing and much needed. They were able to experience a bit of my life here and fall in love with the kiddos J Favorite part was them helping in my class.

~Graduation! - Yay! Oh my word what fun! Everyone got dressed up all fancy. I loved all the smiles of the kiddos when they were given their award.

~Little house transformation – Spending weeks painting, scraping and cleaning the little house. Sharing snacks with the manangs, taking naps on the countertops and screaming at the giant house spiders who scared us.

~Easter – the sunrise service was amazing.

~and finally vacation – I had the blessing of taking care of 15 toddlers and 1 baby. What I learned, scrub the armpits and late meals = disaster.

            And of course, the purpose of my being here, teaching the 2^nd and 3^rd graders! It will be very hard for me to leave my class. They have become such a huge part of my life. Some days were exhausting, but I loved being their teacher. Trying to explain basic body parts and functions; the parts of a plant; how to count using money; teaching them all to do a fish face. I am going to miss hearing ‘good morning manang Kelsey’ and seeing their bright faces when they finally understand their work. It will be weird not spending Saturdays and some evenings grading their work. Smilling over their spelling mistakes or off the wall answers. I pray their little smiles stay with me forever.

            And on to the people who I am indebted to. Over this past year, the Lord has taught me much about the importance of the people He has put in my life. To honestly and genuinely appreciate and be thankful for them. Before I came, I took the presence and relationships of my family and friends for granted. I now see them as blessings. Every pat on the back, hug, word of encouragement, skype date, and laugh are to be appreciated and returned.

~My family have been such troopers! They are seriously amazing! They have been faithful to sacrifice every Sunday afternoon to talk to their daughter on the other side of the world. They would let me rant, laugh or cry when needed. Always a source of encouragement, love and a reminder I wasn’t forgotten. I am so thankful that even though we are over 7000 miles apart, I was still able to see their faces every week. I needed their love each week. Sometimes we would just make silly faces at each other or making to-do lists, but it were those things that made me feel like I was right there with them in my kitchen.

~My Aunt who took the time to listen and encourage me. Share her insights and thoughts. Always ready to help me when life was a bit difficult. Always loving!

~My dear friends, Kristen and Drew, who helped keep life normal. Much like my family, being able to see and talk to them, made me feel not so far away. They even took me along on their own adventures abroad! Thankful that they kept me close.

~Manang Laura (sorry if I’m making you cry!) Having someone who completely understands all the ups and downs and what it takes to live here, has been such a blessing! Spending hours talking about foods we miss or movies we love. Someone who understands my sarcastic sense of humor. She has certainly been a priceless blessing to me. I enjoy and appreciate her friendship an impact in my life.

~All the manangs here who make life just wonderful! Sharing their stories and memories. Sharing their favorite foods or books. Helping me in my crafty endeavors. They are always a willing smile or a helping hand! I will definitely miss them all!

And on to the intangibles. I fully expected to learn more about my Lord and inwardly change, but I didn’t expect so many changes and lessons learned.

            The Lord had to strip me bare. Take away almost everything I held near and dear. My family and friends were on the other side of the world. We don’t have many modern conveniences. I was dependant on someone else for almost everything. Looking ‘fashionable’ went out the window. I had to drink instant coffee. Having privacy is taking a shower. The things I thought important were gone. Those first few months were a struggle. I fought against it. But you know, by taking away all those things, I can hear the Lord clearly. There wasn’t anything to get in the way of my relationship with my Lord. I started this year with a grinch-like heart. Slowly, He broke down all my defense walls, my jaded attitude. He taught me what true agape love is. Love isn’t romantic. Its tough, its hard, its self-sacrificing. I understand the verse “Love suffers long an is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 More often times than not, love means sacrificing a personal want for someone else’s need. Love is taking the focus off of yourself and putting it on someone else; attending to their needs. I am nowhere near perfect in putting this verse into actions, but by God’s grace I am a bit closer. And just like the Grinch, He has expanded my heart with more love than I ever thought possible.

            Repeatedly I have been humbled by Christ’s faithfulness and consistency. In the hard days when I struggled to put one foot in front of the other, He always gave me the scriptures I needed to get through the day and his peace and strength. It’s a miracle I’m not falling apart right now. He has never failed me. Never forgotten to make His love apparent. “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers. The moon and the stars, which you have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You visit him?” Psalms 8:3 Then Psalms 139, He is acquainted with all of my ways, there is not a place I can go where He cannot and He thinks countless things about me. This just humbles me. Who am I that He would want to take the time to make sure I am okay. To give me Himself, so that I can live. Always in awe of Christ’s immense love and faithfulness toward me.

            I don’t know what my future holds, but as cliché as this is, I know who holds it. And I completely trust Him. As I have been praying about what and where to go next, the following verses were given to me over and over again. While I’m unsure what exactly they mean for me, I am confident He  will let me know when needed.

            “She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20

            “Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31: 25-26

            “Open your mouth for the speechless, in the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously and plead the cause of the poor and needy.” Proverbs 31:25-26

            “Incline my heart, to your testimonies, and not covetousness. Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in your way” Psalm 119:36-37

            “Distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.” Romans 12:13

            It goes without saying that it will be hard to leave. I have loved my time spent here. There are many things to miss. Bunches upon bunches of little kiddos to love on and play with, the manangs, my class, and the day to day activities. It will be strange to have a quiet lunch, no baby to hold or feed, no little one to play with or attend too and no manangs to goof off with at night. I’m sure I will feel a bit lost at home for the first few days. If you could, please pray that I keep it together these next 4 days. I’ve already had to choke back a few tears. Then, that my transition back home would be smooth. My mom told me this morning, that my heart will probably hurt for a while, but God will work it all out. My aunt pretty much summed up my emotions. “You have loved well which means that it will be painful to be separated even though its time.” And ultimately that I keep my focus on the Lord through it all.

            Well folks, this is it. It has been an amazing adventure. Thanks for walking it with me.

For the last time, God Bless and much love,

            Kelsey 

See you all on the flip side : )

"For You, Lord, have made me glad through Your work; I will triumph in the works of Your hands." Psalm 92:4